Seven Secrets of a Confident Woman
by Joyce Meyer
Secret #1 A confident woman knows that she is loved
The first and most important secret to being a confident woman is to know that you are loved by God unconditionally. Romans 5:8 says, …God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us. Even if your natural father did not really love you properly, you can still get the love and acceptance you missed in your childhood from God.
Secret #2—A Confident Woman Refuses To Live In Fear
I think you will agree that refusing to be led by our feelings can be a challenge, especially when it comes to fear. But we must remember that fear is not from God. It is the devil’s tool to keep us from enjoying our lives and moving forward with what God has for us. When we attempt to walk in faith, Satan immediately tries to hinder us through many things, including fear. Fear of failure, judgment or criticism will cause us to bury our talents. It will make us draw back and live in misery and torment. Unless we make a firm decision to “fear not,” we will never be free from its power.
Secret #3—A Confident Woman Is Positive
Being negative and being confident do not go together. Like oil and water, they just don’t mix. Being negative opens the door to a lot of problems and disappointments, which fuels the fire for more negativity. Fear is the “dark room” where all your negatives are developed. So why not look at the brighter side of life and believe something good is going to happen to you?
Secret #4—A Confident Woman Recovers From Setbacks
In this life you and I are inevitably going to experience setbacks. The important thing is that we not see them as failures. We are not a failure just because we try something that doesn’t work. It’s only when we stop trying that we fail. The truth is, many people get confused when they’re trying to figure out what they’re supposed to do with their lives. This was definitely true in my life. I discovered my destiny by trial and error.
Secret #5—A Confident Woman Avoids Comparison
It is impossible to walk in confidence and compare ourselves with others at the same time. No matter how good we look or how talented, smart and successful we are, there is always someone who is better than us. I believe that confidence is found in doing the best we can with what we have. God wants us to find joy in being the best we can be, not in competing or comparing ourselves with others.
Secret #6—A Confident Woman Does Not Live In “If Only” And “What If”
One of the worst things you and I can do is to focus on what we don’t have or have lost and fail to take an inventory of what we do have. I call it living in a state of “if only.” Does this sound familiar: “If only I had more education…more money…more opportunity. If only I were taller, shorter, older, younger…” and the list goes on.
Secret #7—A Confident Woman Takes Action
I have heard it said that there are two types of people in the world: those who wait for something to happen and those who make something happen. It’s true that we need to be careful not to get ahead of God, but we also must be mindful not to be lagging behind. I believe we need to step out into things and find out what God has for us. As I said earlier, if we make a mistake it is not the end of the world.
As a believer, Christ lives inside you, and you’ve got what it takes! I believe that as you seek the Lord and apply these seven secrets to your life, you too will begin experiencing the boldness and confidence God desires you to walk in.
How do you know if someone is “THE ONE”?
It puts way too much pressure on the other person… You uphold this ideal that only Jesus can satisfy… and you put on that burden on that guy/girl that he/she cannot bear; No matter how good he/she is to you, no matter how much he/she serves you, you want him/her to even be a little bit more; do a little bit better.
It’s not about finding “THE ONE;” it’s about preparing yourself to be “THE ONE”.
We’re just lazy. We want to find THE ONE because they make our life easy; they have all the attributes that fits perfectly for our life so that we don’t have to change, or maneuver or restructure our life.
If you believe in THAT ONE, and when they mess up or when they do something that makes you mad, you’re kind of enslaved to that person because you always react to it. So if you believe in that kind of ideal of a person of a guy or a girl, when they mess up, or when you get into an argument, you get depressed, or you struggle, or it makes you sad. But if you’re resting and putting your identity into who God is and how He has lined you up to be with him/her, then when that person does mess up, or fails you, because your identity is not in that person but it’s in God, you can give them grace, you can give them forgiveness, you can give them love. But if you’re attached to them as your identity, you can never do that. You’ll always react base upon on what they do.
The truth is, it isn’t about finding THE ONE, it’s about treating that person with love, grace, forgiveness, and mercy.
One of the worst parts about holding up a standard that no one can meet, that absolutely no one can meet because none of us are perfect except for Jesus; is that you miss good, godly people all around you.
I’d like to see religion as not a controversy or a never ending debate…but an understood love and peace.
If you are facing difficulty today, if there seems to be massive walls standing in the way of your breakthrough, remember, praise precedes the victory. Why don’t you do like the Israelites and give a shout of praise anyway. Stand and believe that God is at work even if you don’t see it. Before long, those walls will come down, and you’ll move forward into the victory He has prepared for you!